Deal With It, Please...!!!

.......

You know, there are some people out there that really really giving me hard times and tainting my positive energy. Look Sweety, we all have s**t things in our life, let's just deal with our own things and respect others lives. Don't pushed too hard for attentions....really Dear, we are busy with our own s**t. Unless you've also lost your Mom, must deal with the reality that came afterward with your Dad, your new family members, your siblings, etc. Realising that you're getting more distance with your own family, seeing your Dad is getting old and misses his grandchildren, understand that in his heart he's feeling lonely...and as his daughter you can do nothing....Then, knowing that slowly you loosing your Identity after marriage, only known as 'a Wife', 'a Mother', or 'an in-law'. You crafting as a therapy, as a distraction, and also helps you feel 'present'. Last but not least, you feel s**tty with all that (and honey, the List doesn't stop there...yet)...then I considered you get my point of 'Respect each others lives'.

I'm focus with my life and am in my journey to be more Religious now.....so please, don't make me start over again!

QOTD

2012 was...

...my most PASSIONATE year!

Of course, there were Ups and Downs...the Rollercoaster of Life. But Alhamdulillah, this year I really feel complete, focused, productive, and very much enjoying my life...to the fullest! :D

Ups :

my online Boutique :D

Downs :

My babies are my everything. They are my world, my dreams, my inspirations, my life....If something happened to them, it's like my world is taken away from me or like stripping off my soul from my body. And my very Low moments was when Agasha get Dehydrated and when we Lost him two days before New Year. Hopefully there won't be any terrifying moments happened in 2013 and the years after...Amin.

How is your Ups and Downs, Dear? Hopefully what we had in 2012 can be a good ammo to face what's await in 2013...Amin :)

I lost my Baby Boy

...Hugs my Angels sooo tight...

Oh my God, two days before New Year, and I've got a very VALUABLE lesson. I underlined the word 'very' because it was something that gave huge impact especially for me.

We were at the Mall, at a big Toys Shop, I was busy with Alicia and her Doll selections, everybody was busy with their...things. I was assuming that my baby boy was with one of us, and obviously everybody thought the same about him....that-somebody-is-keeping-an-eye-on-Agasha.....And the next thing we knew, we lost him!

Only God know how I felt, what was inside my head, how I running around searched for him with blurry vision, how trembling my hands was that is so difficult for me just to push a button on my cell phone so that I can show the security guard my baby's picture when reported of my missing child.........only God knows.

Then, when he asked me what outfit that my baby wears, and I answered "Jeans!", like he understand how dying I was he straight away told me to go to the Information booth on the Ground fl. immediately because it was already informed throughout the speaker (thank you Sir, may God Blessed you the rest of your life, Amin). Unexplainable how I could run that far and that fast with my plus size figure, but I do believe this is what you called a Mother Instinct. 

Alhamdulillah, I can hug my baby again. I kiss him, I hold him tight, I apologized to him over and over again....tears all over me. I cried of fear, I cried of relieved, I cried of regret, I cried of happy, I cried of everything. All I know, I have my baby back.......

It was a devastating moment in my life...the worst! God, please don't let me feel it again, I got the lesson.....yes, I surely do got the lesson! There was no blame put on someone's name. It was purely the Adults fault. My failure, as a parent....*sigh. ALWAYS make sure I know precisely about my children's supervision. NEVER think that someone will automatically keep an eye on my babies! Whatever it is, Parents responsible to their Children!

Mommy is holding you tight now my dear Agasha...

Kiss and hugs your Children everyday,every minute, every second, every breath of your life...please!

New Year Anxiety

Hi my Dearest Angels...Mommy's Sweetest Angels... :)

Here we are. Ready to let go a Year away...and ready to welcoming a Year to come. Time really does fly so fast. One second we are celebrating the coming of a brand New Year, new Dreams, new Wishes, new Hopes...the next second, we already preparing for another New Year...again! Sometimes, I don't even noticed what has had happened in this 12 passed months....how stunned!

You know, Dear...actually 12 months is quite a long time to passed. There are quite a lot of Time for some Actions, some Dramas, some Clean-ups, some Improvements, etc. BUT, in the end of the year, we always complaining of the same old crap : Not enough time!

Well.....do you think so? Do you think 365-days-of-Blessing are not enough? Do you think that 8,760 hours are not PLENTY enough to do something, let's say...Good ('Useful' is for the Intermediate level, if you know what I mean)??? Wow, something is definitely wrong here, and it is not about the time.

I used to be the person that said, "What!?! New Year again?! Darn! I even didn't got the chance to...". Oh yes, blamed it to the lack of time, blamed it to how short this year is, bla bla bla....But you know what, 365 days will always be 365-of-days...won't ever change, except for The Leap Year and it's only 1 extra day. So, the only thing that should be change is.....Me! Or you or we or whoever that person who is still feel that The Time Is Not Enough!

I've changed my mindset, set the arrow on me, and start to manage my plans for the year. And whatever happened in the end of the year, I can trace it down and know how to fix it. Alhamdulillah, now I can be so much easy facing the New Year's euphoria. We the one who knew our strenght, our capability, our passion...we the one who knew well of what we wanted and what we want NOT! So whatever you setting up or planning for the new upcoming year...please, consider all of that. And you have a List that is make sense...for you of course ;)

QOTD

"Sometimes the Smallest everyday Moments 
Lead to the Biggest Discoveries"

-Creative Income Blog-

Into The Blues

Morning, Dear.....How are you guys doing? Hope everything is good and smooth ;)

I really really need some mood injection here, I mean like Super seriously need it! Well, nothing bad going on or something upsetting...nope, none. In the contrary, I'm in the process of losing weight --it's my 2nd week and I lose 2 kilos yeay for me-- and am about to start a shop...so I'm so exciteddd!

BUT, Mommy is over excited now Mommy is got overwhelmed with it. Yup, when you sooo excited of something, you had so much plans and ideas in your head...and suddenly you just don't know where to start and get anxious about all that...................Oopsy! That's exactly what had hit me on the last three days :( 

Seriously, I became grumpy and moody and felt like having an anxiety disorder...so low.

This morning, I said to your Daddy "I thing I'm on my lowest point of my mood level"....And your Dad just hug me and kiss me and gave me that 'Everything will be fine, Honey' rub in the back, and I feel oh soooo relieve... :)

Sometimes, all we need is just expressing what's in your heart and mind.....and releasing some of that heavy burden on your back. There is limit in every person.

Have a wonderful weekend my Sweet Lollipops..... I Love You guys :*

To be a Beautiful Flower

Hi Angels.....How is it going? Hopefully everything is fine :)

Mommy doesn't know how old are you when you read this post, but I wanted to share it with you. When you grow up and started to know about Relationship, you must know that relation between two or more of people is not as easy as it seen...or heard.

...Oh, the topic is very touch-y, I'm kind of emotional right now imagining that I'm writing this to my grown up babies... *teary eyes*

Whether is a relationship with friends, colleagues, partners, lovers, or even with siblings. You must remember these two ground rules that Mommy told you...

First, it's a connection between two difference people. Two differences met up is not a-piece-of-cake matter.
Secondly....Never ever-ever never think --moreover try-- to change someone to be like you want them to be....NO NO!! It's a bad thoughts and it's a bad strategy...trust me! No one wants to be forced to change, won't you?!

"So, how-on-earth should we do to make it works, Mommy?". Okay, these are lessons-learnt that I get based on what I've been through ;). The first thing is you must know about your partner. Knows the good sides and the most important is the bad sides of him/her. Identified which differences between the two of you that have the potential to be a problem. Then asked yourself, DO you accept your partner along with his/her minus points? CAN you accept the differences between both of you?..............These two actions need to be done, I personally think so. Because then you know what you're going to be dealing with, you know what you must aware of, and hopefully you know how to react and what actions should be take (^^,)

No sweetpies, I'm not teaching you how to become a soldier ;p I'm just showing you that to have a relationship with someone is like growing a plant. You need to water it proportionally, give it a proportional light, give it a proportional fertilizer, clean it from weeds, and all the necessary care until it blooming and become the most beautiful flower you'll ever see....

......Pretty flower pairs isn't it?! As for a beautiful Relationship your tools are, Tolerance, Appreciation, Love, Care, Respect, Trust, and Commitment (^^,)


And a bunch of Mommy's Kisses to flower up your weekend..... ;* !

Rockytober

Hi Sweetpies....! Happy Halloween...!

First of all, from my deepest heart, my prays for Sandy Storm victims in America. It is the most powerful storm ever happened in US history, and that can definitely seen afterward. But I do believe that the people are tough and unbreakable, and together they'll united hand-in-hand to rebuild again. My faith with my friends there :D.

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So...what's goin' on with Mommy this month? There's only 3 posts on October? Well.....I'm still alive, that's for sure ;p . Just kidding Dear, Mommy was just preoccupied by couple of things. But, short conclusion is that October wasn't really my month...hopefully this year only, Amin.

Everybody has problems, big problems or small problems, you will always meet them on the way. And the best way to get rid of it is by facing it. Don't avoid it...don't run from it....you must FACE IT! If you avoid it or run from it and you'll think it's gone.....WRONG!!! You just walk away from it and trust me you'll meet your "old friend" again in no count of time. So, face the problem, find the solution for it, and make sure it bugging no more ;) ! 

Mommy is still here and will always be, don't worry ;).....and I will always watch you, love you, hug you, share with you :* #bunch of kisses

The Universe Will Hear

Whenever you feel upset, confused, and stuck...but you need an answer.

Take a moment to breath....then look around...closely.

Hear around...closely.

Absord around...deeply.

And you'll get the answer that you need ;)

It Would Be Like This....

....My mobile would ring early in the morning, lets say...8.00 AM....

RIIIIING.......RIIIING......

Me : "Hello...."

Mom : "Are you awake already? What's the children doin'? Are they awake yet?"

Me : "Yes Mom, I'm awake...now. No Mom, the children are still sleeping...but I believe they will be soon"

Mom : "Are you coming today? You free today, right!?! Your 'lil brother is free today so what about lunch outside? Or why don't we visit Myscha? We haven't visited her since she outta hospital. Just get up and get ready, i'll picked you and the children!"

Me : "What!?! Mom, yes I'm free today but I don't want to be rushed for sho......"

- phone hung up -

Yup, that was typical my Mother....can not sit still, always wanted to do something or going somewhere. I used to be annoyed whenever I had no class she'll forced make me her driver and it'll take a whole.day! Where would we go, you ask? Everywhere! Take her to her medical treatments, or mall hopping, or friends gathering, or just visiting relatives....anywhere! Often times it made me very upset, because I barely had times to hang out with my friends. BUT, now I realised how much I miss her spontaneity........ (^^,)

Love you, Mother.... :*

WIP List

Nope....it isn't 'Work In Progress'...it's WIP for 'Wait in Progress'.....

Hi Angels...  :*

Hi September....I welcome you with lots and lots and lots of yawning.....hmmph...

Finally our helper are back and ready to work, so thank God The Routines will be back to normal....yippi yaayy yeay! And yes, I think a Back Massage would be an offer that must not be rejected...oh, I need that soooo baaad!! BUT, before I could have the luxurious treat, I still have a list of things to do :

1. Make a review of Mister Maker Workshop yesterday

2. Make "Basic How-To" tutorials of Veritas Famula. It's a request from one of my reader ;p, but I haven't        decided it yet of how I'll do it...by video or by pictures...???

3. Working on crocheting Aisya's Poncho....it's 60% done already but I still need to wind 2 more skeins of           yarn :( . "Honey, I really need the Yarn Winder...." - The Seducing Queen -

4. Start on my Knit Lesson with my new Knit Kit.....hooraaayy!

5. Wait...but I also need to sew a sewing machine cover.....!?!

6. .....or can I have a nap for a while....????

Veritas...Never Heard of It

Gosh, baby dolls.....I miss you so much!

My bad for disappeared for almost....how long...2 weeks? 3 weeks? Oh, counting not and lets have fun with Mommy now...'coz I have something to share.....woohooo! (dear Lord, I'm over excited *blush*)

You know is Fasting month now and just a couple more days we, Moslem's, will celebrate Eid. A little catch up from me, I lost 5 fasting days because my monthly period, this year fasting is slipping without I've even noticed it BUT why do I'm feeling I'm moving in slow motion in each single day??? Other things, I got alarmed for my cholesterol so I (must) start on carbo diet...ain't a good thing isn't it :(

Well, this and that are happened in the past weeks, but the most exciting thing is I-have-a-sewing machine....yeaayy!!! I love crocheting, but lately I can't take my eyes off Sewing and Quilting video Tutorials on Youtube! Every single night I've spent my time browsing on Sewing&Quilting free tutorials or free patterns or surveying on sewing machines, etc. Dreaming and hoping someday I could afford a good-beginner-friendly sewing machine and start on my first project with it..........*daydreaming*

Until last week when I told Ibu (my called for my stepmother) that I'm extremely eager to learn to sew and quilt, and she said that she actually owned one...a sewing machine...a portable one...with more than 10 stitches pattern...and it's been unused for almost 10 years......I don't care, I'll take it!!! But I guess I still have to wait for the machine...couple of days to pick it up from the storage lodge (it was dusty and filthy and only God knows the inside condition)...then another more days waiting for our go to Tailor to check the machine only to find him nowhere to reach. Well, I guess that would be my sacrifice to get what I'm passionate the most, and for the best result I'm willing to cool down and wait for the best timing that Allah would give me...........

And that Best timing was happened on last Monday, in such a way Allah SWT directed me through a Repairman who was repairing our water dispenser and told me to check on Pondok Labu for a sewing machine reparation, through Hubby who out of nowhere suddenly that morning take me to check on the Reparation and later on bought me the sewing machine, through my Dad-in-law who got another info of another Reparation at somewhere nearby, through a nice lady who gave that info to my Dad-in-law, and finally to Mr. Sugiono who happened to had another-exactly-the-same sewing machine like mine in his workshop...and it's ready to sew...and the price is just right...and SOLD!

Speechless.....wordless..........Alhamdulillah (^^,). 

So, this is my Veritas Famula 5191 (for only 700.000 IDR): 

Just some notes for my Angels.....Do Cherish your desire, your passion. Do Dream, big or small, and follow it. Never let some small Delays break you. Alway Pray, always be Grateful....and Believe that Allah SWT will give you what you NEED not what you WANT....and Allah will give it in unpredictable ways ;)

Congratulation "retromummy"

Good Evening, Angels.....

Birth news is always a good news for me, especially one that I followed through pregnancy. If one of you happened to be "retromummy" blog readers too, than you must have felt the same excitement and joy the same like I feel. Oh yes, I've read every single daily 'adventures' that Corrie -the amazing lady behind "retromummy"- had gone through with her big belly along with 4 amazing Toddlers, and Retro Daddy who's gone interstate the whole week but ready on duty at weekend (highly needed reinforcement, I guess ;p). So, even though there's no relation between me and Corrie, and we didn't know each other even met in personally, but her Blog had built that connection between me-Corrie-her family- and also with (I believe) 2000 other "retromummy"s readers.

Corrie will always has special spot in my life. She had inspired me to write again, to blog again with the right purpose. And now, after neglected for some years, I start on posting again, although haven't been able to manage for daily post (yet), but now I'm feeling like a new person. Oh yes I am...because I know that Mommy's blog is a treasure for my babies when they grew up later, when Mommy won't be here to accompanying them again. By reading it they will still feels me close.......well, Angels, I'll always be near, that's a promise...pinky promise (^^,)

Back to topic, again I would say Congratulation dearest Corrie, I love you and your family and of course baby Emerson Charles who responsible for my over excitement and joyness throughout your mummy's pregnancy. And Precious God now you are here, and if only you're close then this women would kiss you and hugs you non-stop ;*...... Now let me share you Joy moments from "retromummy" :

retromummy: emerson's big day

Crawl Away Toddler

Hi Angels.....

Since Agasha could crawl, I obsessed to take pictures of him crawling, but seems that would be an impossible obsession. Every time I tried to shoot from the front he would immediately stopped and take a sit position, or turned and crawled away....no no no, Mommy wants to shoot you in a crawling position, Dear (-_-').....

After sooo many attempts, I'm giving up...lets try another way, lets shoot you crawling from behind, that would look different...in a good way of course.

CLICK....!

Did I got it??? Well, lets just say the pictures did looked different, but at least Mommy had documented your crawling moments..... ;p

And, for this little crawler, Mommy is crocheting a hoodie with this lovely Olive coloured yarn. I started   last night and hopefully I could finished it quickly. If you like to try it too, find the pattern here

last night progress

this afternoon I'm starting on the body 

Having children is really a BIG gift, always wanted to document every single moment of their growth, but it isn't an easy thing to do (couldn't agree more!)......But then, our efforts to be a 'photographer' is also another story to tell, don't you think?!

Afternoon on cropmom

Hai Darling...... :)

It's going to be raining again, and it has been three days in a row we have heavy-rainy-afternoon :(
Mommy just checked out the e-mails, blogwalking, organize pictures to folders, and decided to make some photoscrap with cropmom (^^,)

I still on the project of Beanie crochet, am on the last one for baby Sophia. Pictures will followed since I'm on the-need-to-charge mode, so I'm in no mood on focusing and picking angles....oh really need energy booster....

I've Got To Have This!

Babiiiies......! How are you dooolls.....!?!

There's a big furniture chain store just open in the area. I just got back from there, did a little searching and screening...And when my eyes got to this beautiful vintage-look trunk, I just can't take my eyes and mind off of it. I just got to have it!!!

Also spotted other cute stuffs there ;D

I like the prints on these storage boxes

Aisya : "I love this one so very much, Mom. Let's buy it!"

Me : "Gosh, it's $1,957/set...." 

She just can't wait to jump in...

Todays "Cup of Tea"

 We can't control the Situation

We Can Control How to Respond to it instead

- Shierly Nangoy -

Yeay....Blow the Candles!

Hello Dolls...... :)

It is late at night, yes....but I really need to write this post as my gratitude to The Almighty for giving me the most valuable gift of all : TIME. I never know whether I can still make my gratitude next year...yup,you'll never know ;)

Alhamdulillah, I'm so so so grateful to Allah SWT for all the Blessings, all the Pleasures, all the Happiness, all the Sadness, even all the obstacles that You have given me through my 31 years of living in this beautiful world. There's so many had and has happened in my life, the Lost, the Achievements, the Ups and Downs...all those process has made my life much more meaningful...too as a person. 

Up until this point of my life -for 31 years- there's none to be regret, not a single episode I'd like to change, for the wisdom behind it help me to become a much better person and personality. My hopes and prays mainly is to be more Faithful in conducting my spiritual services (specially prays 5 times a day). I'm not pray to become a good mother, instead I pray that I could raise my children to be a good person with humble personality, faithful to God, independent and Balanced. And I'm always pray to be useful and helpful to surroundings, even it's a teeny-weeny things................Amin

I'm not asking any lavish gifts.....I just need the love from my mate, my children, my family, and my dearest Angels where ever you are.....Peace and Love (^^3).

Todays "Cup of Tea"

In Dwelling, live close to the Ground 

In Thinking, keep to the Simple 

In conflict, be Fair and Generous 

In Governing, Don't try to Control 

In Work, do what you Enjoy

In Family life, be completetly Present 

~ Lao Tzu ~